Oxygen Deficit

He’s gone away, so is she.

I inserted new items into my room just to distract myself this afternoon. They are mere makeweights but helpful enough. Scented candles to calm me down, to put me back to where I was. Fluorescent lights to bring me there; to bring it back. A ‘black cat’ cushion which looks like a coin: head/tail for me to pull, cuddle and step on. I shifted my bed so that it was no longer facing the window. Then I moved my study table which was as good a counter as useless since already I have difficulty sitting on a chair to write, read or draw. I vacuumed-cleaned my room and you have no idea how hard I was on Moye that it has to suck so much dirt from where I lie. I assembled this floor-standing lamp and I can’t exactly remember how I finally got it right before dad could even set it aright for me. My room now smells of strawberry, jasmine, goat’s milk(my body foam) and dove. The sweet smell is akin to the man who’s gone away, who could step in to make good the deficit.

I’m off to watch the truth about jane and sam now.